Impfondo- Top 10 list- Medical version

1. You measure a patient’s labor progress by the amount of time she snaps her fingers and how much clothing she is wearing instead of using other monitors.
   
2. The “golden hour” of resuscitation becomes the “wooden week” of surviving just to get to the hospital.
   
3. Pineapples can serve as a copay
   
   
   
4. Your consultants never refuse to see the patient……you are the consultant
   
5. Your patients refuse to leave the hospital because they have 24hour electricity and water which they don’t have at their house

   

   A patient's house made out of mud and sticks with a thatch roof,
   no running water or electricity.
   
   

6. No lawyers

   

   No lawyers, but we do have lots of other wonderful workers!

7. Your presurgery checklist includes prayer and checking the fuel level in the diesel generator

   

   Ian helping with the generator

8. Patient family members ask to see and pose with the removed body part after surgery
   
9. Surgery is often an open book test

   

   Happy after a successful surgery

10. You teach CPR to the Bee Gees “Stayin Alive”
    
    
    
    But we couldn't just stop at 10!  Here are a few more:
    
    
11. You have weight gain competitions in the pediatric ward
    
12. You have to write out and coach parents on how to pronounce your name when they want to name their child after you

    

    Baby Anna: that's easier to say and spell than Stephen

13. Placing IVS, nasogastric tubes, suturing, bedside ultrasounds are all spectator sports.
    
14. You hear patient surgery testimony in Sunday chapels.
    

Impfondo- Top 10 list

You may have spent some time in Impfondo if...

1. You need a sweater, long pants, and socks when the temperature drops to 80F.

2. You can remove your shoe and kill a bug... or a bat... in one smooth move.

3. Candle light no longer makes you think of romance or mystery, but power outages.

4. You feel like it's Christmas when a letter or package arrives in the mail.

5. You're not afraid to have spirited discussions about whether or not someone can use your banana trees as an outhouse.

6. You say "No, thank you" politely when someone presents a snake at your front door instead of running and screaming.

I wasn't really calm and collected enough to get a picture of the snake, but the big lizard was another slightly scary thing we had to politely turn down.

7. Your children refuse to wear anything but flip flops on their feet.

Flipflops & machete... what could go wrong?

8. You think it's a good thing to match everyone around you.

9. Rainy days don't make you think of umbrellas, but of unplugging all your electronics, bringing the laundry in off the line, and putting out basins to catch the rain that leaks through the roof.

10.  You can keep a straight face when people compliment you on becoming fat, and reply with a kind, "Thanks, you too!"

I'm pretty sure this is how I look when someone tells me I'm fat. 

If you've lived overseas, what would your list include?